“Reality is never as dark as the places your brain visits in anticipation.”

Today I felt a bit anxious, with repeated phone calls to find out why one of my prescriptions had yet to make it to my pharmacy. My doctor gave me 5 medications, all to help prevent nausea. The only one missing? The cream that numbs my skin over my port for chemo on Thursday. Up until this point everyone at the cancer center who told me to call whenever I had a question was pretty quick to return my call. After almost two days of no word if someone had resent my prescription or not, my doctors nurse finally called me back. She sent it in right away and totally understood my anxiousness of wanting all my medications on hand before my first chemo. She was kind and was sorry I didnt already have it.

With all the unknown of what side effects I personally will have with the chemo that starts this week, Ive been breaking my rule if reading the internet about information on cancer. Needless to say, Im not sure if its doing me good or making it worse, reading about other people’s experience. Everyone reacts differently to chemo, and most of the women’s stories Ive been reading are not women my age. I have my young age and healthy going for me I keep being told, lets hope that is true with it comes to the side effects of chemo!

As much as I was a little anxious these past few days keeping busy with my parents has been good. We worked on the yard a little bit. Organized my medications on a cool app (21 century pill box). Made lists. Our friend David helped move an old fridge thats been in the shed to the road. Our friends Brian and Sarah, came over for dinner so my parents could see their little boy who was an infant last time they saw him. And they celebrated with us in our good news I got today – I do not have the cancer gene! The genetic counselor called me when I was barely off the phone with my doctors nurse to tell me the good news. I was writing out the news on paper for Mom to read (who was standing right next to me) as the genetic counselor was talking to me, and she hugged me in joy. I really didnt have a lot of hope in this outcome, I think I didnt believe it even after hearing it and writing it out. So after two days of trying to figure how Im going to feel after chemo, wondering where my cream is, this news was a big relief, and so what I needed to hear. To have some hope going into chemo this Thursday morning. And that maybe I dont have to try to get myself emotionally prepared for a worse case casino just yet.

Prayer requests:
-That I will continue to have hope as chemo starts
-First chemo treatment is this Thursday at 9:30 (I go in at 9am for blood work). They say the first one takes the longest (they are slowly dripping the drugs in), so we’ll be there for a solid 5 hours. Pray it goes well and I don’t let the unknown get to me.
-The side of effects of chemo are very minimal, or at least very manageable with my nausea drugs
-That the chemo scheduler calls me back tomorrow, its the only unreturned phone call left. Really would love to have my chemo sessions all set on a calendar.

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Praying for you daily, that God would continue to comfort you, provide peace in place of fear or anxiety and that He would bless you with minimal side effects from the chemo. Will especially be praying for you tonight, that you would rest well, and tomorrow throughout the day as you begin chemo.

April 3, 2013 12:11 pm

so happy to hear that you don’t have the cancer gene, wonderful news! xoxo

April 5, 2013 2:27 pm

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