February 21st

Today, I had my first mammogram. Because last Tuesday night (February 12th), I found a lump in my left breast that wasn’t there two weeks prior. Wasnt worried, no family history and Im rip old age of 31. So I got in to see my doctor that Thursday (Valentines day) and she said it was large but since it could move, she was calling it a cyst but wanted me to get it check out. And the fact that I’m over 30 and haven’t been pregnant that she wanted me to get a mammogram anyways.

The mammogram wasn’t too bad. I also got an ultra sound. The doctor said he doesn’t know what it is but he said its benign. Since he doesn’t know what it is he wants to have a small surgery to find out and asked if I had any questions. I said I didn’t but of course as I’m walking to my car I thought of lots of questions and called Jason and just started crying. Feeling dumb for not asking questions. For this not bring over and done with like I hoped. Why do we have to do anything if its not bothering me. So yeah lots of tears all afternoon.

I wanted the week to be done cause then that meant no more doctors and I didn’t have to think about it. And I really haven’t worried much at all about it so maybe this is all my feelings coming at once, who knows. Jason has been really great through it all. Got me flowers and donuts today.

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