Something I didnt know that came with getting chemo is cravings. The first round and I wasn’t eating much due to feeling so bad. I had a bowl of soup, felt so accomplished to only be told it was half of a can of soup. This round with so much less pain from the injection (the magical cocktail of claritin and advil and heating bad seems to be doing the trick) and a bit more energy than first round I have much more of an appetite, which is great. However its still for only certain things that sound tasty. Ive never really had cravings before, not like this at least. Where of course when I crave a hamburger, I want an In-N-Out burger and I had to settle from Five Guys. Apparently I needed some meat and it settled my meat craving. I was watching a YouTube video and Hank Green had a corn dog on his shirt, then I wanted a corn dog. Jason would of course run out to the store and get it for me if I asked, but we do not need corn dogs in this house. We have so much food from meals and people offering to bring us food when they are at Costco or the store, so kind friends, thank you. Other things I have been craving since chemo started: angel hair pasta with parmesan cheese (you know, the yummy powder kind but from Trader Joes so much healthier), butter and aritchoke hearts. Celery and ranch. Popsicles. Cottage cheese with tortilla chips. Lemonade. Cinnamon and Raisin English Muffins. Eggs, strangely enough. I did not want eggs at all first round, but Ive had eggs most morning during this chemo (so I take my steroid on a full stomach). I do miss not being able to have a runny in the middle egg (everything has to be thoroughly cooked through). That might have to be my first meal when this is all done, celebration brunch full of buttery runny eggs with a fully caffeinated cup of tea.

I have felt pretty good today. I slept for two hours yesterday evening, then another 10 hours (no problem falling asleep) last night. I woke up a few times a little sore but I feel right back to sleep. I felt like I could of napped today but didnt, just rested. I think I could of done more than I did today (which was basically nothing, lots of Netflix today) but I dont want to wear myself out when I dont have somewhere to be. Id rather save it all for church tomorrow morning. Emotionally today was a little harder, I assume from the steroid. I didnt take a shower because I didnt have anywhere to be and well, its less hair I have to see fall out. So I have been trying to process shaving my head soon. The mess is a pain in the morning and it isnt good hair anymore to me. Meaning, its lifeless, not full at all and it just looks thin and damaged to me. Also today, the top of my head is tender, like a sunburn so thats new. And I got a couple of cards, very sweet caring cards, from my family but it made me cry. Its hard to be hard from my family during hard times like this, and thinking what they must be going through has been hard today. I want this all to be over so they dont have to go through this anymore. Oliver has been extra sweet, making sure to sit just about on top of me, as if he knows something is wrong and I need some extra cuddles.

Being that is day 4 post second chemo treatment, lets hope Im out of the woods of feeling terrible for this round. I feel like thats wishful thinking and something is just going to drop because this has been such an easier post chemo round. Tomorrow, I choose hope.

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