Today I’m sitting between two ladies who get to ring the bell today. I barely got to sit in my infusion chair before someone else rang the bell to celebrate their last treatment. Glad to be finally back in the chemo room and have it full of celebration. I’ve been at the cancer center for two hours, labs and meeting with my doctor before getting herceptin. In the past the waiting didn’t get to me. The cancer center wasn’t a place Id mind coming to but today I felt completely annoyed. I texted my friend Susan, who works in another cancer center and she said it was probably perception.

Was a place necessary to survival, now more likely a reminder that treatment isn’t REALLY over yet, even though others my perceive it that way – more of an interruption into what would otherwise be “normal” life

Shes totally right. I have things to do today, and spending most of my day here was not a part of the plan. It is interrupting my normal life and that is annoying. Currently as I sit here, over a half hour since my port has been accessed, my nurse and I wait for the pharmacy to send out my herceptin. That drug takes the longest always to come out! Feels like they have to go collect everything and mix it together. My dear nurse tired to slip me Benadryl, which is standard to take with chemo drugs but I’ve been cleared or not take it. Handled it right back to her and told her I do not take the sleepy meds. She threw it right away for me. Take that Benadryl.

Normally, I use my emla cream that numbs my skin over my port for when it gets accessed. My skin has officially had enough of plastic wrap/ press and seal and it breaks out into a itchy rash when I have it over my port to keep the cream in place. Today I tired just using a napkin, which I deeply feared would soak in the emla cream rather than numbing my skin. Thankfully I put enough of it on that I didn’t feel that big old needle when the nurse accessed my port today. The off-site they use to keep the needle I’m place has been good to my skin, so maybe no more rashes with the napkin method from here on out.

There has been some comfort being around other bald people, however I’ve been told I’m not bald anymore. Sure, by definition I am not but this is not a chosen haircut by any stretch. So being around other, more bald folks for some reason brings comfort to me. Reminder of how much my hair has grown, even with weeks like this one, where I don’t see much growth. But also, others who I instantly have much in common with.

Herceptin has finally arrived, another bell has rung. Normal life will soon be mine again.

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