“How are you?”

I’m not sure how to answer this question anymore. These past few days have been really rough. As in, that hour on Sunday that I thought was bad was a dream compared to these past few days. Because the Internet doesn’t need all the details, just basically once one thing felt better something else got bad. It was as if I couldn’t enjoy one thing feeling fine because something else felt wrong. My body has felt like its been rebelling against itself, not trying to get better. I officially feel sick, which is in thanks to the drugs. And it’s hard for me to wrap my mind around the idea that drugs are actually making me better, yet they make me feel worn on every level I know. Which sounds dramatic, I just don’t know how else to describe it. I didn’t really know what being sick was before these past few days. I never knew emotionally I could feel that hopeless.

My Mom has been of course beyond great. Putting up with my ever changing state. Watching hours of The Office or any movie I want to distract me and pass the time. Bringing me food when food sounds good. Dont know how more miserable these past few days would of been without her. Jason, who is working and caring for me in the evenings has been so loving. He got a root cannel yesterday and still made sure I had everything I needed. When he comes and sits with me it cheers me up. Please pray for both my cheerleaders, this can not be easy for them.

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