Went to bed still not nervous Sunday night, full of yummy breakfast food I had for dinner at wedding. Got up Monday morning, with my instructions of to take a shower but not to put on lotion or deodorant afterwards. I had even up on make-up for about a week now with how my eyes just flow tears from a side effect (when with prescription eye drops). Mom and I headed out to the breast center where the same doctor that did my biopsy was doing my needle placement. This was a small answer to prayer for me because when I called last week they didnt know if it would be another doctor I had never met. It was so wonderful to have a familiar face and we were chatting so much that I realized I needed to stop asking questions so she could concentrate on the procedure. It was really easy, when she was putting the numbing needle in, it didnt hurt much at all and the drugs quickly kicked in, I think before she even pulled the needle out. I saw both the needles they used and I wasnt nervous at all still. At this point of the cancer journey, I am just not nervous of needles like I was at the start. I mean I dont look at them putting a needle in me or anything but it doesnt bother me.

After the needled was placed in, I got a bonus mammogram! I say bonus because I didnt know I would be getting one. The mammogram was for my surgeon to have. I even got to carry the films over in a huge orange envelope. I thought the mammogram would squish and move the needle, but I was assured it would not. We drove across the street (thats right, with a numb boob and needle inside it) to the surgery day center and checked in. Apparently I should of been there sooner because they were rushing to get my all prepped for surgery (but still be detailed with me). They just asked for me to go back and I asked if I would see my Mom again before going back for surgery and they said yes.

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It was a much different set.up than the port surgery. I went to a little cubical with a curtain, got all my medical looked over and vials taken. Then I got asked to wipe down my body with special wipes to sterilize my body (where with my port surgery they had me shower twice with special sterilize soap before coming). Then I got to put on these giant boxers (one size fits all kinda of thing) then my hospital gown then a hospital blue hat and green hospital socks. After I was dressed for surgery, a parade of nurses came to introduce themselves to me saying they would be assisting with my surgery today. After the third nurse I meet I told them it was nice to meet him and he said he would see me again in the OR and I told him I hope this would be the last time I saw him (cause I wanted to be a sleep before the OR). The nurse that was with me the longest, she got the IV in my hand in one try which was impressive (I have tiny veins that dont corporate with needles most of the time) and I told her so. Then my surgeon came by to touch base and I asked him if I would have to get a drain and he assured me I would not which was great news to me (if you dont know what a drain is, goggle it, its kinda gross and looks like a bomb is hanging off you). However, he reminded me that I would be getting a needle put in through my nipple so the radioactive fluid that would light up my lymph nodes so he knew where to remove one from. I know he told me this last time we meet with him but I had completely forgotten and now was a little weary of the pain of a needle in my nipple would cause. The poor nurse who dubbed herself as the “bad guy” when after she introduced herself to me, I said “Oh your the one whos going to put a needle in my nipple.” She was very kind though because I told them I wasnt nervous but my legs were shaking, where they cold? She rubbed my legs to calm them and it worked. Apparently they started to drip the forget me now drugs in because I remember a tiny stinging of her putting needles in my breast but nothing Im really remembering now as far as pain goes. This was the last I remember. Apparently, my Mom came by to see me before I went back. We had a whole conversation, where I told her how impressed I was that the nurse got my IV in, in one stick and that they had put a needle in my boob but it didnt hurt. She asked if I had the good drugs yet and I told her I had not had any drugs yet. Which of course she chuckled about since clearly I had but I was still very lucid and not slurring my words at all. And then they wheeled me back.

The surgery was an hour and half long and I was in recovery for close if not a little more than an hour and a half. I remember waking up, not sure if on my own or if a nurse woke me up. The leg compression that are on my calves to keep my blood flowing (and no blood clots) were still active which is kinda nice, feels like a massage on your legs. I told the nurse I was thirsty (I wasnt allowed to drink or eat anything after midnight, so I was ready for something in my body) and she gave me a few spoonfuls of ice chips. The room was moving, so I kept closing my eyes because when they were closed I didnt feel dizzy. I felt a little woozy only because the room was moving (I had ever experienced before but I was over 12 hours without food or water so that probably didnt help even if I was getting fluids during surgery). I was rolled in my bed to a recovery spot (much like the cubical I was prepped in) and moved to a chair. I quickly after that asked to go to the bathroom. This is where I was warned the radioactive fluid they had injected in me would make my pee blue and to not be alarmed. A nurse helped me sit down to go the bathroom but left to let me pee but she had to help me get back up. Ive never had that dependance on a person before, rather humbling I must say but at the time I really could care less. Leaning on the nurse I got back to the chair where she brought me some goldfish crackers and ginger-ale. The room was still spinning a bit when Mom arrived to my recovery space. I kept closing my eyes to get me to not fee woozy but a couple of times I grabbed the pink throw up bowl they gave me just in case. I haven’t ever in the past thrown up post surgery but Mom said I kept getting red when I felt like I was about to throw up. Thankfully, I just burped and felt a whole lot better. I made myself drink and eat more because I knew it would make me less woozy. The next goal was to get dressed so I could get out of there. My nurse asked me if I wanted to take some drugs and I said yes, which was the last pain drugs I have taken since the surgery. The nurses were very kind to let me take my time getting dressed and rolled me in a wheelchair only a few feet to the car (had I known it was that close I would of just had them walk with me).

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Once home, I just wanted to get into my bed with the fan on. The room had stopped spinning as soon as I left the hospital and the nausea had completely passed. I responded to many people who were checking on me, which was so sweet. Thank you all who texted or email to check on me, means so much. I felt pretty good all things considering. My breast felt stingy so Mom made sure I was icing it, for the pain and to prevent swelling every 30 minutes. I took a little nap before Francie arrived with yummy dinner. Once I had a fair amount of food in me, I took a bit longer nap and was wide awake until I went to bed around 11pm, still with no drugs. I didnt really feel like I needed the drugs, the pain wasnt that bad that I couldnt sleep (I just cant sleep on my left side of course). I only got up once to pee (still a faint hit of blue) but other than that had a pretty decent nights sleep.

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